How to survive the holidays: a man's guide to setting boundaries.

The holidays. A time of joy, connection, and... incredibly stressful family dynamics. For many, it's a minefield of intrusive questions, unsolicited advice, and old arguments waiting to be reignited.


The old "tough guy" script tells us to either just "suck it up" and endure the discomfort, or to get into a loud argument to "win." Both are losing strategies. A modern badass chooses a third option: setting clear, respectful boundaries.


A boundary isn't a wall you build to keep people out. It's a line you draw to protect your own peace and well-being. It is a profound act of self-respect.


Here are three practical scripts you can use:

1. For the intrusive question (e.g., "When are you getting married?"):

   The boundary: "I appreciate you asking, but I prefer to keep my love life private. How about we talk about [change subject]?" It's polite, firm, and redirects.

2. For the unsolicited advice (e.g., "You should really be doing X with your career..."):

   The boundary: "Thanks for sharing your perspective. I've got a plan I'm happy with right now, but I'll keep that in mind." It acknowledges their input without accepting it as a command.

3. For the heated topic (e.g., Politics):

   The boundary: "I can see this is important to both of us, and I don't think we're going to agree. Out of respect for our relationship, I'm going to step away from this conversation." It prioritizes the relationship over being right.


Setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable at first, but it is a critical skill for navigating life with your sanity intact. It's about having the strength to protect your own energy.

Badasses aren't born, they're built. So let's get to work.

Chapter 12 of Be a Badass Man gives you the toolkit to handle tough conversations with courage and care.