The 5-point test to spot true confidence vs. hidden insecurity

He's the loudest guy in the room, constantly talking about his wins, never admitting a mistake. You think he's confident. I think he's terrified. There's a difference between real confidence and arrogance, and learning to spot it will change how you see everyone—including yourself.

Our culture often mistakes arrogance for confidence. This leads well-meaning men down a path of performative, fragile self-esteem that is exhausting to maintain and alienating to others. Authentic confidence is quieter, stronger, and built on a foundation of substance, not style.

So, how can you tell the difference? Use this 5-point test.

1. The source test: Where does their self-worth come from? Arrogance is fueled by external validation: likes, compliments, status symbols. True confidence is fueled by an internal source: competence, living by one's values, and self-respect.

2. The mistake test: How do they react to being wrong? Arrogance causes deflection and blame. A mistake is a threat to their fragile ego. True confidence allows them to say, "I messed up," because their worth isn't tied to being perfect. A mistake is just data.

3. The listening test: Do they listen to understand or to reply? Arrogance waits for its turn to speak, correct, or dominate. True confidence is secure enough to be quiet and genuinely hear another person's perspective.

4. The 'other people' test: Do they lift others up or push them down? Arrogance needs to feel superior, so it often resorts to subtle put-downs or dismissiveness. True confidence is generous and celebrates the success of others.

5. The humility test: Are they willing to say "I don't know"? Arrogance needs to be the expert in everything. True confidence embraces humility, knowing that real strength lies in the willingness to learn.
   

Knowing this difference is the first step. Building unshakable, authentic confidence is the real work.

Badasses aren't born, they're built. So let's get to work.

The first part of Be a Badass Man breaks down arrogance and shows you how to build lasting, quiet confidence. Ready to build the real thing?