The vulnerability paradox: why showing weakness is a man's greatest strength.

For generations, men have been sold a lie about strength. We were taught that strength means being a fortress: impenetrable, stoic, emotionless, self-reliant to a fault. Showing any crack in the armor—fear, doubt, sadness, a need for support–was labeled as weakness.

This is, without a doubt, one of the most damaging myths of traditional masculinity. And it's holding countless men back from becoming their most powerful, respected, and connected selves. The truth? In today's world, vulnerability is not weakness; it is a prerequisite for true strength.

The fortress vs. the roots

Think about it this way: many men are taught to build an emotional fortress. A fortress that is designed to keep threats out. It's rigid, isolated, and defensive. While it might look imposing from the outside, its inflexibility is its greatest weakness—a single breach can cause the whole structure to crumble. This is how many men live, building walls to keep out judgment and pain, only to find they've also locked themselves into profound isolation.

A modern badass understands this is a flawed strategy. He doesn't build a fortress to hide in; he grows something more like living roots. Instead of stacking up stone walls, he cultivates a network that stretches deep and wide—alive, flexible, and resilient. Roots bend with the storm, draw nourishment from the soil, and keep a tree standing tall no matter how rough the winds. In the same way, a man who embraces vulnerability develops strength that adapts, supports, and sustains a life full of genuine connection, purpose, and growth. Vulnerability is the key ingredient that makes those roots strong and alive.

• Vulnerability builds trust: How can anyone truly trust you if they never see the real you? Being appropriately open about a struggle or admitting you don't have all the answers doesn't make people respect you less; it makes them trust you more. It signals authenticity and courage.

• Vulnerability is necessary for growth: You cannot get better at something if you can't first admit you have room for improvement. Admitting a mistake, asking for feedback, seeking help from a mentor or therapist— these are all acts of vulnerability that are essential for real growth. The man who pretends he knows everything learns nothing.

• Vulnerability deepens connection: Surface-level relationships are built on shared activities. Deep, meaningful relationships— the kind that sustain you through hard times—are built on shared vulnerability. It's the only way to move from acquaintance to true brotherhood or intimate partnership.

How to practice "strong" vulnerability

This isn't about oversharing or directionless complaining. It's about strategic, courageous authenticity. Start small:

1. Share a "low-stakes" struggle: Instead of just saying "I'm fine," try telling a trusted friend, "Work has been pretty draining this week, honestly."

2. Admit what you don't know: The next time you're in a conversation and unsure of something, try saying, "That's a good point, I don't know enough about that. Can you explain?" It shows confidence, not ignorance.

3. Ask for help on a small task: instead of struggling alone, ask a colleague or friend for a quick second opinion or a hand with something practical.

Embracing vulnerability feels counterintuitive if you've spent a lifetime building walls. It requires courage. But it's not a weakness to be overcome; it's a strength to be cultivated. It's the secret weapon that unlocks deeper connection, faster growth, and a more resilient, authentic version of you. It's a core part of being a modern badass.

Badasses aren't born, they're built. So let's get to work.

This is just one of the core mindset shifts we explore in "Be a Badass Man." If you're ready to learn how to build authentic strength, get the book and Action App today.